Robert B. Tuttle

Justice of the Peace

 

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Careful Planning Ensures a Beautiful Ceremony

 

How to Choose an Officiate

Special Ceremony Touches

Getting Started Checklist

 

 

 

 How to Choose an Officiate

Think about it. A wedding officiate can make or break your ceremony. An uncaring or unprofessional officiate can sometimes spoil the whole day. Even so, when it comes to finding an officiate, most couples simply focus on two things:
Are you available on our date?
How much is your fee?


If you were renting a car, this approach would make sense. Let's say you need a late model town car for next Saturday. All you need to find out when you call around is Do you have one? and How much do you charge? - but this only works because you know all the Lincoln Town cars will be basically the same. Obviously, when you're talking about people, not cars, you just can't make that assumption!

So, if I may, I would like to suggest a better approach.

Spend some time talking with your prospective officiate. See what kind of chemistry you have. Does he/she sound nice? Is he/she easy to work with? Does he/she have a pleasant speaking voice? Is there a photo of the person that you can view? perhaps online? Is the officiate focused on pleasing you, or will you be expected to do as you're told? Does the officiate have any objections to your location, music, plans for pictures or video?, etc. What experience does this person have? Finally, where is the officiate "coming from" – not geographically, so much as ideologically. It's not a matter of one being better than the other, but only of matching where you're coming from with your officiates style and beliefs, if possible.

I hope this helps. Choosing the officiate is a big decision with important consequences. For your own sake, give it the attention that it deserves.

Finally, I'd like to say one thing about the issue of price. Keep your perspective. Think about the total cost of your wedding ... if you save $100 on your officiate by shopping around, how significant will that be in five or ten years? Remember, it's not like renting a car – it's more like hiring a nanny (think "Mrs. Doubtfire!") You need to invest some time in the interview process – but in the end, you'll be glad you did. Not all nannies or officiates are created equal. Good luck and best wishes for your big day! If I can help you, please call me.

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Special Wedding Touches

Sharing Of The Cup
A cup of wine (or other beverage) is symbolic of the cup of life. During the sharing of the cup, both partners drink from the same cup, symbolizing their commitment to share all that the future may bring. All the sweetness life's cup may hold for you should only be sweeter because you drink it together; whatever bitterness it may contain should be less bitter because you share it together.

Candlelight Ceremonies
The romantic glow of candlelight can be absolutely breathtaking in evening or late afternoon ceremonies. If this idea appeals to you, you will need to check what is allowed and what fire regulations will apply, possibly affecting the location and number of candle you may use, have two candle stands decorated with ribbons and flowers on either side of the altar. You may want to complement that with a similar single candle stand at the end of several rows. You can have the candles lit by a pair of users before the ceremony, or have each attendant carry a candle down the aisle to make a dramatic entrance.

If you want additional symbolism in your ceremony, consider having a lit candle on both partners sides, with a single unlit candle in the center. Once pronounced spouses for life, you each take your respective candles and, with their flames, blending together, light the Unity Candle, joining your lives as one.

Other Special Touches
There are creative alternatives to throwing rice, since rice is harmful to birds, consider throwing birdseeds instead. Dried flower petals and colorful confetti or streamers (in bio-degradable material) are affordable alternatives. Or add some fun by having the guests blow bubbles as the newlyweds leave the service. Sparklers (when carefully used and discarded) can be spectacular for an evening wedding.

After being pronounced partners for life, add a romantic touch with the centuries-old European tradition of releasing white doves, the symbol of love, unity, and devotion. With an inside ceremony, stage the dove release outside. Re-exit the facility, and have the doves released as your guests look on. A flock of white doves makes a great alternative to throwing rice, and a spectacular send off. For information on white dove releases, check the wedding section of your phone book's yellow pages, or call local florists and pet stores. This special touch may not be available in your area.

Today's ecology-minded couples, who are looking for new ways to do something special for their weddings and the environment, might consider the newest concept in weddings, and release a dozen of Monarch butterflies. These butterflies are specifically raised for this purpose, then carefully shipped overnight and released into the environment at the proper time during the ceremony. This not only helps increase our diminishing butterfly population but also adds a dazzling touch to a garden wedding.

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Checklist

Getting Started Checklist

You've just gotten engaged and you're overwhelmed. The first thing you need to do is get a good sense of the type of wedding you and your future spouse wants. The following questions serve as a guideline for discussion. In addition to answering the questions, it's important to decide on the importance of each issue. This will help with the compromising that is sure to come later!

1. Do you want the traditional wedding/reception, or something different such as private ceremony and large reception, or destination wedding and party?

2. Do you want the reception to be: indoor, outdoor, indoor/outdoor? If you want outdoor only, how will rain and  bathrooms be handled?

3. Do you want an afternoon or evening wedding? Formal or informal?

4. Do you want a traditional reception (i.e. receiving line, toasts, first dance, etc.) or a simple party?

5. Do you want a wedding party or just one person to stand up with you? What is the maximum size of the wedding party?

6. Do you have a maximum number of guests to invite?

7. Do you want dancing?

8. Do you want live music or a dj?

9. Do you want a sit down dinner, buffet dinner, or standing reception?

10. Do you want everyone in one room during the meal or can they be seated in several rooms?

11. Do you want kids at the wedding? How do you envision their participation – hanging out with their parents or will you provide entertainment for them?

12. What kind of setting do you want: mansion, gardens, hotel, waterfront, etc.?

13. Where do you want the ceremony or reception site?

14. What is the acceptable driving distance between the ceremony and reception sites?

15. What is the maximum amount of money you want to pay for the site rental?

16. What is the maximum amount of money you want to pay for the wedding?

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Justice Robert B. Tuttle is a member of the Massachusetts Justice of the Peace Association.

To talk more about planning your ceremony, please email me at getinfo@gayswed.com

 

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